The Dilemmas Of Being A Grandparent
When you are a parent things can be hard enough, but being a grandparent can really tug at the heart strings and make you toss all sensibility out the window! I baby sit two of my grandchildren so my daughter and her husband can work and she does pay me but it is only enough to cover the cost of what the kids eat. I have them anywhere from 6 to 12 hours a day and most of the time for 3 meals a day 4 to 6 days a week. Well Here is my dilemma First and main is that by me doing that I am losing what a grandparent is and becoming a babysitter. After having them so much I get tired and I am unable to play the Grandma fun roll of spent the night at Grandma and Grandpa and let go to the park or a movie or something like that. They see more as a parent that is teaching them the way to live there life. Like I am the one that potty trained my grandson and how to eat right at the table, how to say there prayers and that they need to do chores to keep things clean. This is suppose to be the fun time with them!
And the other dilemma is I may have to quit so I can start working again. My daughter is going freak if I do quit and I am not sure she can keep her job if I do! But I need to start bring some extra money in to the house as my medical gets more costly. I like the time with the kids but also at time I am feeling that I need to be Grandma more and babysitter less. I am not sure what to do and how to handle it. Not to mention I have watched them since the day they were born and how they will feel about me not doing it.
Help with lots of prayers so I know what to do!
And the other dilemma is I may have to quit so I can start working again. My daughter is going freak if I do quit and I am not sure she can keep her job if I do! But I need to start bring some extra money in to the house as my medical gets more costly. I like the time with the kids but also at time I am feeling that I need to be Grandma more and babysitter less. I am not sure what to do and how to handle it. Not to mention I have watched them since the day they were born and how they will feel about me not doing it.
Help with lots of prayers so I know what to do!
posted by Carolyn @ 3:18 PM
2 Comments:
I will keep you in prayers and your family in prayers. You are in a tough spot Carolyn. But your feelings of wanting to be "grandma" and not that of a main caregiver is completely understandable. (I look forward to being grandma, it's the reward for all the hard years of disciplining and essential teaching) I'll just lift prayers up that God will provide an answer for all of you.
(((HUGS)))
3T
Having been in this position, from your daughter's perspective, I think I can offer you some comfort. Yes, when you tell your daughter that you cannot continue to watch the children as you have been doing she will be very upset. However, after time she will understand and will find a way to handle the situation. She needs to "step up to the plate" and take responsibility for herself and her children. I know this is a hard postition to take but you are making it easy for her to take advantage of you by not telling her that you don't want to have the children every day. Tough love is tough but it will help your daughter to grow and become a better person for it. You may not see that now but since I was in your daughter's spot, and worked through it, I feel that I can offer this advice to you. Just state the facts to your daughter try not to get angry or defensive and you can both get through this without destroying your relationship. I agree that staying with Grandma should be an event, not a daily activity.
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